some times

some times it's not about you
some times it is
some times i care about you
some times i could care less
some times i hate you
some times i don't
some times i'll love you
some times i won't
some times my happiness is in your eyes
some times i hang myself in your lies
some times you make me sad
some times i do things just to make you mad
some times i'd rather live without you
some times i'd die to have you
some times you make me cuss
some times i just sit and think about us
some times i wonder how you feel
some times i hope this isn't real
some times i'm so confused
some times i just like feeling used
some times i have to hear your voice
some times i think i made the wrong choice
some times you're all i talk about
some times i can't wait to see you walk out
some times i just want be with you
some times i can't stand to even hear you
some times i wish you'd disappear
some times i wish you were always near
some times you break my heart
some times i want to rip you apart
some times i feel safe
some times i want to run away
some times i want to be the one you're missing
some times i don't even care to listen
some times you give me butterflies
some times i'm the black cloud in your blue skies
some times i feel no pain
some times it's all the same
some times i want to wrap my hands around your neck
some times i hate your imense amount of self-respect
some times i hate how you're so perfect
some times i think i deserve it
some times i fight just so we can make up
some times you just make me want to throw up
some times you think you're so hot
some times i make you think you're not
some times is not enough
some times doesn't mean that we're in love......

Supposed To

I'm supposed to be writitng
From the emotions within
But I feel so much for you
Where would I begin?
I'm supposed to be passionate
About everything I write
But my brain is still fuzzy
Thinking about last night
Now that you're in my life
I don't think I could let you go
I try to hold it all in
And I pray that you don't know
I fell like I'm in quick sand
Sinking deeper with each word
I'm not supposed to be sitting here
With nothing left to say
I should be like a fountain
Overflowing with emotion
I'm not supposed to love you
It can't work out that way
Because I'm here waiting
From someone a whole world away
Now that you're in my life
I don't think I could let you go
I try to hold it all in
And I pray that you don't know
I feel like I'm in quick sand
Sinking deeper with each word
I'm not supposed to love you
But I can't help the way I feel
You wanted me to be honest
I'm just trying to be real
Now that you're in my life
I don't think I could let you go
I'm not supposed to be in love
With someone I barely know

Send Me

I’ve got a question
That needs an answer
I’m standing close the edge
Praying that you’re my disaster

I know you’re bad news
But whoever wants it good anymore?
You’re walked away
Left your eviction notice at my hearts door

Send me
Send me away
Break my heart
Push me to the edge
Watch me fall

The answer will always be no
No matter how much of this damaged heart I show
I’m almost like a stalker in my own head
Don’t look now as I follow myself to bed

I’ll go crazy without you
I’ll break down on my own
Turn off the lights
Disappear into the night

Send me
Send me away
Break my heart
Push me to the edge
Watch me fall

What's the worst part?

What’s the worst part of a broken heart?
It still beats
What’s the worst part of a deep wound?
It still bleeds
What’s the worst part of the nightmare?
It’s all I ever see

You look at me the way you do
And it makes me wonder why I give a damn about you
Then you speak and I can’t breathe
I can’t explain the way I feel about you

My heart’s not broken
It’s just hacked into pieces
My soul’s not bruised
It just looks beaten
My smile’s not fake
I just have no reason to be happy

You stare off into the distance
And I tense up, smothering in my own ignorance
You were never mine in the beginning
But when I go down, you’ll be right behind

What’s the worst part of a broken heart?
I can still feel
What’s the worst part of a deep wound?
It won’t heal
What’s the worst part of the nightmare?
It’s real

I’m just around that dark corner
Watching you touch her face
As you slip inside away from the night
Something in me fades away

Heartbreak is like an emo love song
It always seems to go wrong
So, what’s the worst part of a broken heart?
It still belongs to you

crawl away

and i'm hanging on until the ride is over
you glued me on like a paper doll
dressed me up in dirt
pushed me down just to watch me fall
and on my knees i'll crawl.....
away from you
away from me
away from everything i thought this could be
away from the truth
away from the lies
i crawl away......
as the last tear falls from my face
you secretly watch from another place
you love to see me hurt
you want to see me die
you hate seeing happiness in these pale blue eyes
and i'll crawl on my knees....
away from everything you do
away from the memories
away from the heartache
away from the touch of your skin
away from the smell of your hair
i'll crawl away....
because i can't grin and bear it

i want you

i see your smiling face on the other side of the glass
i can feel your cold stare as i walk on past
heartbreak never came from you
not the way i wanted it to
i wanted you to break in me in two
leave me alone in a corner of the room
keep my heart black and blue
i wanted to cry over you
as absurd as this all sounds
i can't imagine life with you
but everything seems bittersweet without you
the sun shines a little brighter when i'm alone
but some times only the rain can quench my thirst
i want you to love me so much it hurts
the thought of you reading my mind
excites me that much more
i want you to break my heartworse than before
tell me all those things you think i want to hear
leave me in shambles, cowering in fear
i want you and thats all it seems to be
i want you here but not besides me
i need to feel the pain of another love lost
i need to feel the heartache whatever the cost
i cant stand the thought of missing out on you
even if its just want thing that you want out of this
its your turn to make demands
this whole situation is hit or miss
i want you to break me down
leaving me insecurefor you i'd give it all up
for you i'd give up what's pure
i want you to hurt me more than you ever have
i want you to break this heart of mine
i want you to do it all
i want you this time.......

altercation

an altercation between mind and body
my mind despises your every being
my body feels good in your hands
an altercation with the voice of reason
this is wrong
but i want it again
an altercation between you and i
tempers began to flair
losing conciousness
you sleep between the strands of my hair
hands lose grip of the only thing left to hold
legs fall and become knees on the floor
but i can't stop it
i can't control it
i want more
an altercation between mind and body
the mind is fading into darkness
while hands explore the mass
the heart doesn't ache because it's not there
an altercation becomes the daily
every night it reaches back in
right under the ribcage
into the hole left in my skin
an altercation
the only thing i have left to enjoy
before i have to say goodbye
and goodnight, little boy